# Ze most beautiful, amazing, moving thing just happened – ich took a pischen und ze face of Gianni Versace appeared in ze bubblesungefähr
11 Stunden ago from web
# Red panda fur is NOT machine vashable
8:24 PM May 2nd from web
# Ich HATE ze cops! Just got moved on von Mann’s Chinese Theatre for rubbing meinself against Daniel Radcliffe’s handprints.
10:38 AM May 2nd from web
# I know about ze food, but does anyone know if Italian guys have more calories zan Japanese guys?
4:52 PM May 1st from web
# Ich just bought some Sean Combs aftershave. It smells like ze run-off von a prison shower
10:55 AM May 1st from web
# Top five foods zat taste good on ze vay back up – choc soyshakes, Haagen Dazs Dulce De Leche, Profiteroles, spaghetti carbonara und bananas
3:49 PM Apr 30th from web
# Great party last night, but who left an arschen cigar in the bath?!
10:22 AM Apr 30th from web
# Bruno tried to self-wax his arschenhaller and ist now stuck to ze bed
11:27 AM Apr 29th from web
# Respect to whoever’s doing ze PR campaign for schwein flu – it’s gone global even faster zan Atkins did in 2003
3:01 PM Apr 28th from web
# Just got off ze plane in ze States und thought it vas a special airport for fatties.
11:32 AM Apr 28th from web
# Does anyone know many rocks vill be needed inside a fully zipped 2007 leather Prada tote bag to sink it to ze bottom of ze Danube?
9:39 PM Apr 27th from web
# Starting to get bored mit zis stupid dog – it’s got a real ego, it keeps yapping und von’t eat, even tho ich bought it edamame von Nobu.
8:23 PM Apr 27th from web
# Bruno got a neu bestfreund!! Forget labradoodles, ich have a pihuahua, a really cute mix of pitbull und chihuahua! Ich vill love him 4ever!
1:48 PM Apr 27th from web
# Wow, ich have never got it on ze ceiling before!
11:31 PM Apr 25th from web
# Is it just bruno, or is zere more life on Mars zan on Nicole Kidman’s face?
6:19 PM Apr 24th from web
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“Respect to whoever’s doing ze PR campaign for schwein flu” au man, göttlich.
hehehe stimmt!